Neighbors are great

This story made me laugh out loud. Not just because it's funny but because I've had some bad neighbor experiences myself. We have two neighbor families that I think are nearly as bad as JD8.

Family # 1
Dad - aka Nascar Bob
Mom - aka TW (Titless Wonder)
Kid #1 - aka Roger Ramjet
Kid #2 - aka Stripper in Training
Kid #3 - Baby Jesus
Grandma - aka Granny

• So that brood live in a house that can't possibly be more than 3 bedrooms and is MAYBE 1600 square feet.
• Stripper in training is like 11 years old and I see her making out with boys in the alley behind my house all the time. And she's got that shrill little girl scream down to a science.
  
• Roger Ramjet is so named because he used to ride down the middle of our fairly busy street in Baby Jesus's stroller....when he was about 9 years old.
• Baby Jesus is 4-5 years old and is regularly seen riding his Little Tikes car up and down the sidewalk...unsupervised. The rumbling of that damn toy car echoes through my house like it was a cattle stampede.
• Nascar Bob...where do I start. He as loud-ass ancient Toyota 4Runner that he lets warm up for 30 minutes every morning. He's got a Harley with the loudest exhaust money can buy. His front yard is MAYBE 14 feet deep from the sidewalk to his porch, he chose to fill that valuable space with a massive play house/jungle gym for Baby Jesus. He has at least 3 dogs that bark for hours every day and night. Once he crashed a kite over the top of my house and trees, he cut the kite free of the string but left the rest of the string hanging from my house and tree across the street directly to his yard. Now that's subtle.
  

Family #2
Dad - aka Captain Pasty
Mom - The Junk Queen
Kid #1 - Fatty Fat
Kid #2 - Crazy Biatch

• Captain Pasty is so named because he usually mows his yard with his shirt off while wearing those hideous short running shorts. Let's just say his skin color is somewhere around pale blue.
• The garage is full of junk. The backyard is full of drunk. The driveway is full of drunk. The FRONT YARD is full of junk. They just go and pick up junk and unload it from their van into the front yard. The Junk Queen has a small "anitque" store downtown that I've never been inside of but they do occasionally have "antique" sales in their front yard. I've never seen them sell anything. Where I'm from we would call these "rummage" sales or just put a sign in front of the stuff that reads "Free Junk".
• Fatty Fat entertains herself by screaming and jumping on her trampoline in the back yard.
• Crazy Biatch sits in the front yard and talks to herself....even their dogs won't play with her.
• Now that brings us to the dogs. For a while they only had a Collie that I once had to punch when it tried to jump the fence and bite my face. Then they got some little yappy dog that I always heard but never saw, this one disappeared one day much to my delight. Months later I found out that while the family was gone one day the Collie got hungry and FUCKING ATE the little dog! Now they also have two nasty little poodles that snap and snarl at you like little fluffy demons.