Thursday, April 30, 2009

WTF? Pig Bitches!

I'm going to go eat a rack of fucking ribs pig is going to get one over on me.

The media is blowing this shit up worse than they do harmless Internet "worms". When I see bodies wrapped in sheets stacked on sidewalks THEN I will worry. Even the Vice President is going all 28 Days Later.......

Better clean the guns just to be safe. Have you completed your zombie preparedness kit?

The end is no longer nigh

Well today the Government finished what Daimler started 11 years....Chrysler is essentially no more.

It's sad but predictable. Most people realized early on that Daimler was just bullshitting everyone with their "merger of equals" mantra. They really only cared about raping Chrysler for its best parts and left it a smoking ruin of out-dated and poorly conceived products. The "merger" really only produced a couple of bright spots for Chrysler, like maybe the 300C, and a lot of shit the Caliber.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

It's funny....I think.

Ah...The Onion does it again.

Autoworkers Compete to Keep Jobs, Livelihoods on New Reality Show

Gimme the juice!

NPR has a really great interactive map that shows you what the US Electric grid looks like.

The Future is Now

I still can't get over the differences between the Bush White House and the Obama White House. It's like night and day, especially in terms of technological progress. The White House now has its own Flickr photostream....some of the pictures are amazing.

Don't you dare.

The British government can really be a bunch of little bitches sometimes. They have the tendency to knee jerk and kowtow in order to achieve the highest level of political correctness that is possible. Since the BBC is a "state run" institution in Britain they typically have to subject themselves to the whims of the Government.

It looks like they may move to force Top Gear to feature a more "balanced" view by employing minorities or women instead of the current all white male cast. DO NOT FUCK WITH MY TOP GEAR. Why can't they understand that people only watch Top Gear because of the chemistry of that cast. If you change that you may as well call it Crap Gear.

Life is good

You think you're job sucks balls? Just be thankful you don't live in China.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Gut Check

Arlen Specter is now a Democrat. If the defection of a thirty year veteran Senator does not shake the Republican Party to its core then they really are lost. This is one of the most glaring indications that the GOP has chosen the wrong path.

Epic Edit

This is a great story and an awesome video.

No rental cars go to heaven.

Jalopnik has a list today, the Seven Cars That Killed Pontiac. When I think of Pontiac I don't think of GTOs and Trans Ams I think of plastic....acres of endless, cheap plastic on the inside and outside. Can you believe that they actually built the Grand Am for 20 years? I still see them on the road every day, a giant rolling testemant to lackluster design and half hearted engineering.

I remember driving a mid 90's Grand Prix once and I was astonished by the sheer number of buttons coating the interior. They were everywhere....even blanketing the entire steering wheel. It was like someone ate a bean and button burrito and then coated the interior in a diarrhea shower of shitty buttons.

Some one I work with still drives an Aztek every day. Every time I see it in the parking lot I involuntarily's like walking in on your parents having sex.

Here piggy piggy.


The media has a new "sky is falling" topic to latch wide epidemic. Here's a great summary of past world killing plagues from the Colbert Report....Manthrax is my favorite.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Creative Genius

These guys have apparently stolen T-Pain's vocoder (which he stole from Kanye West) in order to make the network news a little bit more musical. I give you Auto-Tune The News....

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Truth hurts

This may be the most honest assessment of the state of Chrysler and GM that I have yet read. It looks like FIAT thought better of the purchase of Chrysler (or have they?)...which was probably the best thing for all parties.

The question is can Chrysler survive bankruptcy? My guess is that only parts of the company will remain, most likely those associated with successful model lines like Minivans and Jeep SUVs. Look for Ford to buy up turnkey Chrysler factories at uber-discount prices...which will probably end up helping Ford kill GM a few years down the line due to its weakness from having to through bankruptcy.

A job well done.

Former Vice President Cheney seems to think that his "no holds barred" approach to diplomacy has saved millions of innocent American lives since 9/11. He believes that by lowering ourselves to the level of common thugs and violating the human rights of our "enemies" we can all sleep safer at night.

How many of the estimated 87,000 dead Iraqis do you think would agree with that?

The reward for stupidity.

This story makes me want to start a business selling dunce caps with the seal of the US Congress on the side.

Here's the rundown...Representative Joe Barton has discovered Twitter (more likely some 30 year-old, GW grad douchebag named "Chad" on his staff has discovered Twitter. He probably learned about it from one of the tranies he nails every weekend in some Fairfax County opium den but I'm getting off-topic.) Anyway, the fine Congressman from Texas decided to tweet that he had made the Secretary of Energy look stupid. No are just a huge the video.

You worked for and oil company and chair the Committee responisble for US energy policy...if you DO NOT understand the concepts of continental drift, gasification and geology then maybe you should consider a different fucking career. More likely you thought you could grandstand and make the Secretary look stupid by asking him to explain a hugely complex geological process...douche. The man won a Nobel Fucking Prize and you think you've stumped him?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Nice dubs.

If you've never seen Snakes On A Plane you don't know what you are missing....better yet it looks like the edited for TV version has added non profane humor.


This is sweet....those silly Canadians and their old fashioned knife violence.

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Today's Word

Today's word is....Tulip.

You may think it's a pretty flower that the Dutch are fond'd be right. It also has a newer meaning that has been brought about by the unbelievably insane amount of disgusting pornography on the Internet. So to "tulip" something is to blow that shit out until it's never right...ever again.

BTW: You learn something new everyday. It appears that "pink sock" is a synonym....have to use that one in some everyday conversation.

How's about: Mark is walking really slowly because he is wearing his pink sock today.

I was going to post a link to a site for the discerning ass tulip aficionado but I didn't have the stomach for it. For those of you that want to be scarred for life just Google "ass tulip" on the first hit. Just remember, some things cannot be unseen.


How did I miss this little brown nugget of joy? Glenn Beck is actually going on a fucking comedy tour....will he be trying to tell jokes or just standing on a stage so that people can mock him?



Sandy Kane...the world's worst stripper/lounge singer. That voice is like rusty nails on a chalk board.

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Say hello to Lil' Baby Hitler.

The creepiest thing is that all the people in the audience think its the cutest thing ever. Ah....look, he's already got meglomania nailed now he just needs work on his delivery.

No place like home

There's a lot of reasons I left my home town...too many to mention. If you live in a "one economy" town I suggest you think about just how resilient is your town's economy? It's hard to change 100 years of manufacturing history and while Kokomo does have a significant pool of skilled labor it also has the typical small midwest town problems....

I pity the fool

This is yet another great article about the great divide between those working on Wall Street and the rest of us...the unwashed masses of ungrateful idiots. I mean don't you realize that by making all this money they have employed dozens if not hundreds of the under classes to fetch them coffee and care for their larvae. It all sounds a bit like feudalism....where are my serfs?!

I love the defensive position that these parasites take...that they can't be blamed because they either a.) were not doing anything illegal so It can't be wrong or b.) all those credit default swaps had high credit ratings, how was I supposed to know they were toxic? If you claim a.) then you're right, it was not illegal that just makes you immoral or unethical but not criminal. If you claim b.) then that makes you is (was) your fucking job to know better. If you're incompetent then you deserve to lose your ass!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


First off....NSFW.

Coming soon to DVD (April 28th) Ron Jeremy's hilarious horror movie, One Eyed Monster.

You have to be fucking kidding me.

Dick Cheney has the unbelievable nerve to go on national television and criticize the Obama Administration for releasing Justice Department memos regarding torture. Cheney finds it "disturbing" that they (the Obama White House) are not releasing the documents showing all the positive results that were attained from the torture sessions.

I find it "disturbing" that Cheney has NO APPARENT REMORSE for the part he played in state sponsored torture. They always run back to the same old excuse, in the days of post 9/11 the ONLY thing that mattered was homeland security.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Mix it up.

George Bush is no longer the President of this country. The policies of his Presidency were a failure (mostly) at best and illegal/immoral at worst. Anyone that thinks that the ideals that ruled our foreign affairs for the last eight years were a good thing should really think about loosening that tie, it is clearly cutting off all the circulation to your brain. Barack Obama intends on engaging in talks with the leaders of other countries no matter how "evil" they were made out to be by the Bush Administration. You may not always agree with the idea of us having formal relations with a guy like Huga Chavez but the sad truth is that he is the elected leader of his country. The days of our government running roughshod over the rest of the world are coming to an end....

That said, Hugo Chavez is a tin pot dictator with a big mouth and an even bigger sense of self-importance. He's trying to mold himself into a modern day Fidel Castro....and how well did that work out for Cuba over the last forty years? Eventually his own people will figure out his narcissistic motivations and oust his ass but until him he derserves a modicum of diplomacy.

Great idea.

So United airlines is going to start charging fatties if they can't fit into just one seat. Now I'm a big fatass and I can still fit into just one seat so I actually don't have a problem with this. I can understand how annoying it would be to uptight skinny people about being touched by the greasy fat rolls of the cookie monster sitting next to them but where does it end?

Personally, I'd like the airlines to have a special sealed section for parents with screaming children. How about a special TSA approved muzzle to put on the 40 something soulless, sales douchebag that won't shut up about how much commision he made last year....that's the fucking guy I always get stuck with.

When will they meet my needs?

Friday, April 17, 2009

Let it die?

President Obama is on some shaky ground with respect to the fountain of unbelievably bad information that is pouring out about the Bush Administration. He's publicly stated that he has no intention of taking legal action against people that may have committed war crimes and certainly violation of the Geneva Convention. Keith Olbermann had some very interesting comments on this:

Two things come to mind. First, don't trust anyone in the media with regards to this subject. Can you imagine the media circus that would result from the prosecution of senior Bush Administration officials? I'm guessing that every "journalist" out there gets a tent in their pants just thinking about it. Second, would it really be a cathartic process? Some things are best left unknown and much MORE damage would our standing in the court of pubic opinion take? And do you seriously think a guy like Dick Cheney is going to take this lying down? He'll take anyone he's got any dirt on down with him, it could end up being truths so bad that it literally could break the foundations of our government.

I'm not convinced that marching people into court would benefit ANYONE. I think this is yet another example of the quiet, measured and brilliant decision making process that Barack Obama is famous for....

You don't even know....

You may not think that the decision in the case against The Pirate Bay effects you...oh you are so wrong.

The RIAA and the MPAA were on their last legs having created so much ill will by suing grandmothers and children for illegally downloading content. Now, this case gives them a new lease on life by setting legal precedence that anyone "assisting in infrigement" is fair game. That could allow the RIAA to sue any ISP that illegaly transmits copyrighted material.

This ruling throws into doubt the very nature of the Internet....the kind or monitoring necessary for an ISP to GAURANTEE they are not transmitting illegal material is hugely expensive and highly impractical. Internet Service Providers will either have to pay outrageous carrier fees and usage rights to copyright holders or face mountainous law suits by groups like the RIAA.

However this breaks YOU are going to end up footing the bill by seeing an huge increase in the cost of your internet service.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


John Madden announced his retirement from broadcasting today....I hope they let him keep his telestrator.

Feed your brain. bill itself as "The Smart Network". Their site is choked full of lectures and interviews with some really smart people talking about some of our biggest societal problems and technological achievements. It is incredibly fascinating least to me. This is a lecture by Adam Savage of Mythbusters fame about his passion for objects and the obsessions that it bears. is kind of a young upstart version of the better known TED series. Here's one of the latest TED lectures by Shai Agassi, the man that is trying to convert every car in Israel from internal combustion to 100% electric.


Serious gear heads only for this one....make sure you watch till the end. Paging Mr. Black, your tires are done.

Just make some shit up.

I think the FCC should force Fox News to drop the "News" part of their moniker. So much of the crap that they spew is merely OPINION that calling it "News" is a slap in the face to every credible journalist out there. Take Neil Cavuto's little embellishment from the clip below...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The S.S. Shit Cannon

Check out this hilarious story about a wedding caterer's worst nightmare.

Read between the lines.

These modern "Tea Parties" are seriously funny to me. Here are a bunch of idiots that think they are being clever or patriotic in some way by replicating a historical act of defiance by our fore fathers. The problem is that unlike that fateful night in Boston the taxes being protested today were put into place by the legally elected representatives of these people. Your protest is based on a false assumption...not unlike most of your political ideals.

Here's a great piece from MSNBC that was obviously written by someone very aware of the modern culture's meaning of "Tea Bagging"*.

*Teabagging - The forcible application of the scrotum (virtual or physical) to one's person, usually the head or face....hilarity ensues.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Market Watch

First, NSFW.

Man am I glad I invested heavily in slocks last week. This is some seriously funny shit.

Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Surpasses Two Hand Jobs

Good Sense of Humor

If you can't make fun of yourself....

At least she doesn't look TOO cracked out. I'm sure this will be the big to do on all the "mainstream" media soon.


This should be mandatory viewing for all Internet's hilarious.


The end is the best part.

She's right....but still wrong.

Meghan McCain may end up coming out (no pun intended) as the real winner in her father's failed bid for the Presidency. She wants the GOP to become more inclusive and argues that supporting decidedly liberal views like gay marriage are the only way the party will survive. When you think about it the GOP really should support gay marriage, here are some reasons:

  • Republicans are always trying to fuck each other to get ahead...why should gender be a factor?
  • Conservatives think that abortion is the most wicked thing on the one has ever gotten pregnant from a sword fight or munching box.
  • Most republicans are overgrown frat boys any way, need I say more?

I think Meghan needs to finally wake up and realize that there is nothing INCLUSIVE about today's Republican Party. Once it was successfully taken over by the religious right the Party's fate was sealed as being stodgy and dogmatic just like the Churches of its members. If you're not white, christian and outwardly heterosexual then you should just keep on looking. The problem is (for the GOP at least) that is a shrinking demographic in this country. The problem for the rest of us is that most of the money (power?) is in that same shrinking group.


I used to work in a industrial/manufacturing environment and we used to have to watch the worst training videos on the planet. Bad acting, terrible music and hokey dialog make these videos nearly unbearable and you usually have to watch the same ones year after year after year.....

This training video is a little different....and totally fucking awesome!

Monday, April 13, 2009

All is lost.

We may as well just pull out of Afghanistan now. The government of Pakistan as completely caved to the Taliban insurrection in the Swat Valley and has, in effect, given them a safe haven beyond the reach of US Troops in the region. Unless of course Obama wants to go all George Bush on Pakistan and invade their country....not likely.

There is no more political will left in Pakistan to help remove the Taliban and it's Al Qaeda brothers. Any strategy in Afghanistan will ultimately fail because as soon as we leave the Taliban will just walk across the border and re-occupy their old haunts.

Polish that crystal ball!

Here's a great little montage of all the right wing TV idiots whining about how the Obama administration was not doing anything to save the kidnapped sea captain. The greatest nation on the world can't defeat some rag-tag Somali pirates....blah fucking blah.

I think the problem is that they got so used to 8 years of the "flail your arms around and make a lot of noise bullshit" that the Bush Administration was so good at that they can no longer recognize a well thought out and measured decision. This President isn't go to wave his dick around and scream at people....this President is as cool as the other side of the pillow.

Nice shot.

Read this story and think about how it was resolved for a minute. Three Navy Seals snipers shot three Somali pirates in order to free the kidnapped Ship Captain. They got three simultaneous head shots on three targets IN A MOVING BOAT from ANOTHER MOVING BOAT....oh yeah, AT NIGHT.

If you ever wonder how good the Seals really are....there's your answer.

The end.

Looks like The Treasury Department has given up on GM and is calling for a "surgical" bankruptcy. Get ready to say goodbye to Pontiac, Saturn, Hummer, GMC and maybe Buick as those brands will most likely be thrown to the wolves with all of GM worthless assets. This will leave GM as a two brand company, Chevy and Cadillac, that MAY have a chance at survival.

We're the Joke.

Here's a fun look at American "News" shows from the British perspective. This BBC reporter gives a frank and refreshing critique on what some people in this country consider the news.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Friday, April 10, 2009

Oh Onion News...I love you so,

There is no love in the world....only Pain (NSFW)

Study: Children Exposed To Pornography May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable

Special Kind of Crazy

Now this is one delusional bitch.

Missing the Point

Go ahead and read this's pretty offensive. Everyone has a crazy old racist Grandma, right? Maybe Nana Hitler shouldn't be a representative of the people.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Lawyers again.

Monster Cable ranks right up their with Carol Shelby in terms of being real cocksuckers about defending their "Brand Image". In addition to making over priced, shitty audio accessories they seem to think that the word "Monster" is their own private Idaho, filing suit against just about anyone that uses that particular word in the name of their business.

Guess that wrecks my business plan to start marketing "Shelby's Monster Cock Grease and Love Lube".....back to the drawing board.


This is probably one of the funniest pieces that I have ever seen on The Daily Show.

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Fox News has gotten even crazier since the election. I think if Michelle Bachman and Glenn Beck were to have a child it would result in every human being on the planet loosing 50 IQ points.

The World's Greatest Mirage

It looks as if the global financial meltdown is starting to crack the mystique that covers Dubai. From poorly constructed buildings to empty multi-billion dollar hotels the place is turning into a ghost town.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Kumar Goes to Washington

Kal Penn is probably best known as playing Kumar in the Harold And Kumar movies but he's found a new calling working for the Obama Administration. He's most recently had a great role on Fox's House, kind of sucks because I really liked his character.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Man on The Edge

There have an unending number of mass shootings lately. They are a sign of the times...people pushed to their financial and personal limits.

Here's one man's story about how close he came to the edge.

I'm going to go watch Falling Down now.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Today's Car Porn

Have a look at this post on Jalopnik about the stunning Porsche Carrera GT. This car is destined to be an automotive classic and seeing it with it's body panels removed is nothing short of amazing. It is automotive art at it's finest.

Oh and watch this Video of the CGT tearing around the Nurburgring Nordschleife....I want to be that guy's wingman.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Back Off!

I need one of these when some one asks me if I've got a case of the Mondays.

Amazing views

Now this is a view.....


Last week the sky was falling as most major media outlets were talking about how the "Conficker" worm was going to bring about some kind of computer apocalypse. As usual, the media took a minor problem and whipped everyone into a frenzy about it. Turns out Conficker is much more a lamb than a lion.

Stop watching the damn news, you'll be much happier.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Premature Ejaculation.

Looks like the forthcoming Wolverine movie has been outed to the Torrent networks more than a month before its official theatrical release. Looks like the copy is a high quality "workprint" of the movie that does not have all of the special effects work added to it. Not exactly complete but still....that has to have pissed off some Studio Execs.

Batshit Crazy

Watch this clip.

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Glenn Beck is the craziest person on TV today. Colbert can't even pretend to be as bizarre as that crazy fucker....Why is he always crying? I'll give you something to cry about Glenn.

If you watch Glenn Beck's show for something other than the inherent comedy value then I suggest you consider some form of ritual suicide.

I can relate.

The Onion, brilliant as usual.

Looking back

IGN's got a great article about the 20 best BSG moments. I'd forgotten so many of these that it may be time to go back and re-watch the whole series.
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