Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Career suicide

If you're going to out then go out with style.

WTF UAW!

The UAW is the champion of the "common" working man, the defender of the middle class and the watchdog of the rich elite. The UAW uses its political will and still considerable lobby powers to provide fair wages and benefits to thousands of American workers. Recently, the UAW has been deeply critical of the management of the former "Big Three" automakers calling them out as being wasteful, greedy and extravagant. All the while the UAW like to talk about how much they and their members have given up to help the US automakers stay competitive. Apparently irony is lost on the UAW leadership.

Seriously NSFW

Check out IO9's roundup of hilarious Star Trek based Porn. It is SERIOUSLY NSFW.

Some of those clips make me long for porn of my youth before all the "women" looked like Barbie dolls....sigh.

Get an umbrella

Why does anyone fuck with the Israelis anymore? How many time do they need to kick your teeth down your throat before you decide that a few hundred square miles of desert just isn't worth the embarrassment.

Link may be NSFW

Watch this video of an Israeli missile turning some Hamas into humus.

Creepy people

Here's a hilarious article on Gizmodo that highlights all of the crazy photoshopped pictures that the general public have submitted in 2008. My personal favorite is the Steampunk Tampax.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Our new apartment

Some Wall Street douche bought a $37 million apartment using TARP money, that's the money that we tax payers pitched in to "save" our economy. I say at least a few thousand of us turn up every day to ask if we can crash on the couch.

House of cards

This guy is lucky to be alive....he's also lucky if he still has a job.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Embarrassment

Leader of the free world....no shit?

Awesome DIY

Are there gangs of wild bear roaming your neighborhood? Perhaps you should build your own net launcher....that's right, DIY FUCKING NETGUN!!!

She must be stopped.

Apparently Paris Hilton is no longer satisfied with only having her parties sponsored by low budget Vodka companies. Now she is accepting sponsorships for her cars as well, see her new Pepto Bismol Bentley.

What is she smoking?

Condoleezza Rice is drinking the Kool Aid these days.

This got me thinking, what am I going to thank George W. Bush for? Here's a brief list in no particular order.

  • Thanks for curtailing my individual rights with the kneejerk Patriot Act.
  • Thanks for completely screwing up in Afghanistan...we didn't really need to catch Bin Laden anyway.
  • Thanks for destabilizing Pakistan by funding an unpopular military dictatorship that prevented Democratic elections...that will pay off big time!
  • Thanks for wasting $700 billion+ on a useless war in Iraq. Thousands of our soldiers and Iraqis would probably thank you too if they weren't so fucking dead.
  • Thanks for making us the laughing stock of the International community with your stunningly thin, bat-shit crazy reasoning for invading Iraq.
  • Thanks for having a completely delusional/non existent energy policy that drove our economy to the brink until the oil bubble (you caused that too) burst.
  • Two words. Dick Fucking Cheney, thanks for bringing Mr. Psuedo-Constitutional Monarchy into my life.
  • Thanks for crippling scientific research funding by imposing your limited beliefs in magic books and zombies.
  • Thanks for letting your dumb shit Wall Street buddies turn our economy into the biggest pile of shit this country has seen in 80 years. Greed is a fantastic motivator for personal gain...not so great for public officials.

There's SO much more but that's all I have strength for.

Hell yeah!

Here are Holytaco's picks of good 80s action movies to watch while under the influence. Personally I'd drop the Back to the Future movies and add anything starring Chuck Norris...perhaps Lone Wolf McQuade.

After watching these you'll be thinking about turning your garden shed into a secret weapons cache and yelling "get to the chopper!" at everyone you see.

And stay down...

Living in Detroit these days must be about as bleak of an existence as one can imagine. It's not bad enough that the entire American auto industry is teetering on the verge of collapse but the Lions suck dog balls as well.

Pretty soon we're going to be airlifting food and quality draft picks into Detroit like some kind of economic/football induced Katrina disaster.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The future of Fusion?

Here's a GREAT Popular Science article about a radical new theory on how to produce a reliable nuclear fusion reactor.

Bombs Away

Ever wonder what a 10 kiloton nuclear bomb blast would do to your home town? Well now you can thanks to a clever Google Maps Mashup.

LoL.

Funny blurb on the Comedy Central blog. Further goes to prove that most people are idiots and could benefit from either better reading comprehension or some kind of electronic sarcasm detector.

Bend Over!

Apparently it's really episodes of Will & Grace that are melting the Polar ice cap. Maybe the Vatican should start using displaced Polar Bears to hunt down all those sinful sodomites.

That shows what a firm grasp on reality the Catholic Church has.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Rough Rider

Check out this crazy video of a container ship riding out a big storm...make sure you watch the corridor part.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Late night LOL!

Check out this YouTube Video. I didn't embed it because you have to read the backstory in the description field...priceless.

Not only does everyone in your stupid little sorority house hate you...now the whole Internet is laughing.

Back in the saddle

Vacation's over....back to the grind.

Now this is my kind of practical joke. What a interesting concept...a camera is not an effective replacement for actual Police officers? How shocking.

Friday, December 12, 2008

It's all about the collar

Why has the Government "saved" the financial sector but forsaken the auto industry? It's all about the size of your lobby and the color of your collar.

The UAW hasn't quite realized that they are facing extinction. However within the context of the current climate it's hard to blame them for not wanting to back down. They've had to watch the people responsible for this entire financial mess get bailed out to the tune of hundreds of billions of dollars while they have ended up with the shit end of the stick. Why? Would this be the case if the Secretary of the Treasury was a former auto industry executive and not the former CEO of a nearly failed brokerage company?

How to be unpopular

Actually, it's how to be REALLY unpopular.

Step 1: Know next to nothing about computers, software or being human.
Step 2: Attack a group of Linux developers, the most dangerous geeks in the world.
Step 3: Congratulations, the Internet now hates you!

Seriously...what a bitch.

Strange bedfellows

Evangelical Christians are all up in arms because their Neo-Con poster boy, George W. Bush, is now talking smack about the bible. You mean Bush only said nice things about evolution to placate the right wing crazies? That is unbelievable behavior from such an honorable politician...what is the world coming to?

R.I.P

R.I.P. Bettie Page

It's for the best

Looks like NBC has decided to take a pass on the American bastardization of Top Gear. After the pretty poor quality of the Aussie version it's probably for the best anyway. Of course the real reason is most likely the train wreck that the US auto industry has become...how can you be entertaining while beating a dead horse?

Update: Maybe the BBC wisely decided to take Top Gear to cable in the U.S. so they can get a little more creative with content.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Congratulations

Hey Kirby! Congratulations on your hometown making Forbes's list of America's fastest-dying towns! Only number 10 though so there's more work to do!


Oh, wait. My hometown is number 3 on that same list....so my hometown is better (worse?) than yours!

I bet they're not going to build a $400+ Million dollar bypass around your dying town though so there!

Pull back the veil

Here's something that no one, at least no one in Congress, is talking about. Chrysler has no business receiving "bailout" money from U.S. taxpayers when their parent corporation is flush with cash. Try not to get too pissed off when you read this.

The Tangled Web

Here's Gizmodo article about a new book called The Nuclear Express. Basically it's the history of atomic weapons and how all of the Earth's nuclear powers acquired their membership to that dubious club. There's a cool map/graphic of "atomic evolution".

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Wishful Thinking

Saturn has always been Roger Smith's unloved bastard division of General Motors. I appreciate the fact that there are fanatical Saturn lovers out there even if I can't understand why. However, the thought that GM would axe one of its long running brands like Buick in favor of Saturn is just not that likely. Saturn never should have existed, all it has ever done is steal customers from Chevrolet and Pontiac and run up costs in terms of brand marketing/identification.

GM tried to create a new brand to shake of it's image of poor quality and bad design and then kicked Saturn off with poorly built and badly designed cars (they did get better eventually). Now every single car that Saturn sells is based off of another GM product that can just as easily be sold with a Chevy/Pontiac/GMC badge. The fact that Saturn has survived 20 years is the only real miracle here.

Not pleased

You have disappointed the Cat Cat.

This is only a test

Trying out blogging from my iPhone!

Booooo

I was considering a move to DirecTV but was waiting for their awesome new USB based satellite tuner box that would work with my computer. I guess I don't need to wait anymore....bitches.

Shitty month

Ever had a really bad month? I'm guessing that it was never as bad as this San Francisco couple's recent drama. Talk about getting kicked in the nuts by life.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Monday, December 8, 2008

Morning LOL

First off NSFW.

When will someone give Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake their own "variety" show? Lorne Michaels...I'm talking to you. First there was Dick In a Box and now....Jizz In My Pants.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Where's my shrimp cocktail?

Check out Prop 8: The Musical....hilarious.


See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Bow before your master

Apparently Kanye West doesn't get cable in his Golden Palace atop Mount Olympus. Maybe his throne cast from the melted down platinum records of artists far more talented than him interferes with his reception....


By the book...

First off, NSFW.

I warn you, once you watch some of these videos you won't be able to get the damn songs out of your head....especially the cooking by the book one.

Ridiculous

I still haven't fully recovered from the cancellation of Pushing Daisies...every remaining episode will cost another little piece of my soul. So now I have to see this lovely announcement.

One of my favorite shows, a gritty and realistic SciFi masterpiece, gets canceled but there's no problem getting an entire season of a dramatic prequel to that show produced? Give me another season of BSG and not this barely related soap opera bullshit!


I feel sick.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Pike them

In the past(and in some present day cultures) it was common practice for rulers to publicly display the bodies of criminals and "evil-doers" as a form of deterrence. I think that's a tradition that could use a little bit of a revival, if there was any group of criminals that deserved to have their heads piked on a city wall it's these assholes.

Maybe if some of these extremists knew that pigeons would be shitting on their rotting earthly remains while they cavorted with their virgins in paradise it might give them some pause.

Voila!

Every time someone asks me a stupid Internet question I'm going to make them watch this video...Clockwork Orange style.

Monday, December 1, 2008

That's all you've got?

Come on Ford, you're last global brand gets the axe? Why not kill of Mercury instead? There's no brand uniqueness left in Mercury and you could easily save costs by killing them and adding some of those "segments" to Lincoln.

Ford has long since raped Volvo of any of its uniqueness so it really doesn't matter anymore. Maybe the Germans will buy Volvo and Saab and try to rebuild that Scandinavian sensibility back into those brands.

Enemy mine

Eight months ago were more likely to see Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton in a no holds barred cage match than shaking hands on a stage. Obama may have won the big show but Hillary has officially been given the ultimate consolation prize, Secretary of State. It is generally considered to be a more prestigious post than the Vice Presidency and is her gateway to another Presedential bid in 2016...or is it?

Why not just stay in the Senate for another eight years and then run? Why bother having to run for her Senate seat again and still be considered a "junior" senator with very little influence within that body? She will get HUGE publicity as SecState and will be most likely given a lot of latitude to influence policy by Obama...and she doesn't have to endure any more silly elections until the one she really wants.

Of course she may have decided that SecState is food enough and that she doesn't want the top spot after all...making this job her swan song.

This is the beginning of the Democratic Centrist revolution, acutally it's the continuation of Bill Clinton's Centrist Revolution. The DNC is doing the EXACT opposite of the RNC, they are planning for the future. They are playing towards the middle and setting up candidates years in advance to freeze out the right wing crazies that now run the Republican Party. Personally I have no problem with it.....for now. We'll see how responsibly the Democrats handle the massive advantage they have been given by the nightmare of the Bush years. Of course, I've read Machiavelli so I have little hope that the Democrats can actually succeed.

Safety first

Natural selection failed to eliminate Plaxico Burress....although accidentally shooting yourself is something you never live down.

Unsolved Mysteries

Here's a cool list of crazy unsolved mysteries from around the world. Numbers 4 & 5 are crazy.

Screw the Europeans

Here's an interesting idea on how the US Automakers can save their own asses. Basically, Ford and GM both have European subsidiaries that manufacturer market specific cars for all of Europe. The vast majority of these cars and small, well built and far more fuel efficient than any car either company manufacturer for the American market. The article talks about why this won't work...but if either of these companies had seen the writing on the wall a couple of years ago maybe they wouldn't be so screwed now. They could have engineered their way around the problems.
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