Friday, July 18, 2008

Where's the exit?

Here's a link to a hilarious exit interview given to a Verizon call center employee. I'm sensing some pent up aggression in it's contents.

This is something that I can really relate to. I spent the last six months of my previous job counting the days until I could open up on the HR girl during my exit interview. Unfortunately, mine was a verbal interview and not on paper...I should have recorded the whole thing because it would have been priceless. Here's some highlights.

  • The woman on the other side of my cube wall, lets call her Fatty, was completely useless and weighed about 350 pounds. She spent parts of the day eating and crying, usually at the same time (no shit). She spent the rest of the day making personal phone calls that I can't even summon the strength to recall to this day.
  • The guy next to me, lets call him The Douche, was as useless as a Hockey Ball and I happened to see his salary one day (I was in charge of the HR system and it was an honest mistake). He was making nearly $30k more than me...maybe he was paid by the fuck-up.
  • One day The Douche turned me into HR because I told him that "I would choke the life out of her (Fatty) if only I could fit my hands around her neck". ;)
  • Our "Helpdesk" employees were completely unqualified for their jobs and were basically glorified operators that tripled my work load.
  • My boss was clueless about the day to day operations of my group and had no clue what I did on a daily basis. On three different occasions she called me to her office to yell at me for something that I had done wrong or had not done at all. All three times were for things that I was neither responsible for nor involved in.
  • My Christmas bonus one year was a T-Shirt. Listed on the back of the shirt were all of the projects that our department (approx. 25 people) had completed for the entire year. I was solely responsible for completing 30% of those projects.

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