Make enemies

As an IT worker I've made a lot of enemies over the years. I've compiled a list of the five most hated things (hated by my users) I've had to do and why I've done them. Acutually, in most cases I've been forced to do them by some one else.

#5 You have an obscure user name that is difficult to remember.

Why? - Let's say your name is "Joe Moron". So I assign you a user name of "JMORON" because it's easy for you to remember. That's great but it is also easy for hackers to find out, allowing them to get into the system that much easier. So now your name is B66453 as far as I'm concerned.

#4 Say goodbye Solitaire, we'll miss you.

Why? - Because you let your manager catch you playing it to often, idiot! I don't care if you play Solitaire all day but your boss does.

#3 I have limited the amount of email that you can keep.

Why? - Personally I'd love for you to be able to see three years worth of baby pictures that people have emailed you but there are serveral reasons why I can't. First, having years worth of email is a legal liability that most companies want to avoid these days, thanks Enron. Second, I don't have a magic fountain of server storage or a Jeanie that grants me infinite terabytes of drive space.

#2 Restricted your Internet access.

Why? - Just like every where else there are those that abuse the system. If Sammy Whackacock hadn't been caught looking at amateurtrannywhores.com then I wouldn't have had to block what you can get to. Relax, MySpace will be still there when you get home you crack addict.

#1 You have to use a complex password.

Why? - Because the password "huggs" takes about 1 second to break with a good dictionary/brute force password cracker. I swear people bitch about this so much you'd think that I was forcing them to sell their children into slavery. If you can't remember an 8 character sequence of numbers and letters then maybe you should go back to elementary school.