Friday, August 14, 2009

Useless knowledge

Usually I applaud LifeHacker for their fantastic posts about making your life easier with a DIY/technical twist. However, this article about the 10 Must-Dos for the first week of College leaves out seriously vital information.

  1. Make friends with someone that has a car, it you have a car prepare to be popular.
  2. Make friends with someone that is at least 21 years old. If you can't figure that out then go back to reading your new testament.
  3. Find the cheapest pizza place within walking distance, carry out specials are your friend.
  4. If you live in a dorm figure out which RA is a total douche and which is a baked over burnout. They almost all fall into one of those two categories, avoid the douche he's just pissed cause no Fraternity would have him.
  5. Find some decent clubs or organization to join, think chick friendly. If you are planning on rushing/pledging do yourself a favor and drown yourself before you do more damage to society.
  6. Make friends with people in your classes. They will be extremely valuable WHEN you miss class, and you WILL. Most professors test heavily from their notes as that is their only real way to ensure that you even bother showing up.
  7. Figure out which classes you can miss and still pass. Some professors are lazy as hell and just recite verbatim from the million dollar text books that you are forced to purchase. Don't waste your time.
  8. Figure out which of the people in your dorm/apartment are crazy. Sit back and wait for them to crack, should take about one semester.
  9. Pick a new major for the next semester. Whatever you thought you wanted to be in life now sucks, the sooner you admit that the better off you are.
  10. Have some fun. You are free from Mommy now....for better or worse.

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