Crap in my hand

This is hilarious but maybe a bit obscure. Here is some context.

Steve Jobs is an egomaniacal genius that runs Apple like some kind of corporate extension of his imposing personality. He is also convinced that every one else's idea of user interfaces, media consumption and use cases is clearly wrong. The saying "I reject your reality and substitute my own" should be carved into his headstone upon his passing.

Walt Mossberg is a journalist (or at least what passes for one these days) for the Wall Street Journal. When not writing above his love of Apple products he spends his time inside a small capsule that rests just above Steve Jobs colon. He is generally derided by "real" technology journalists and serious nerds as a total wingnut that has no clue about the subject in which he is supposedly an expert. Mossberg is Jobs go to media guy mainly because Mossberg doesn't ask hard questions like "Why the fuck does the iPad not have multitasking when it clearly should?" He was voted "Most Likely To Live Up Someone's Ass" by his peers*.

*That's probably NOT true.